three years, eight months, six days, five hours, five minutes, and three seconds. or, one thousand three hundred and forty-seven days. that is how long it has been since i last punched out. how long it has been since i said a final goodbye to my career working days. and also, how long i have been titled ‘stay at home mom’; the best job i have ever had the privilege of having.
but tomorrow, tomorrow starts day one back into the work field. of course, i have been watching little oliver for several months now, and have easily been itching my way into being known as a ‘work from home mama’, but this, this will be different. tomorrow i go back to work for someone else, and for in many ways, myself. tomorrow i will get myself up, get us ready and to babysitter’s on time. punch myself back in for the first time in a long time.
when the opportunity became available, i found myself intrigued and wanting to know more, but also extremely nervous. excited, and scared out of my mind. i spent days talking it out with cory and with friends [“should i do this?” “will i like it?” “will it be worth it?” “no, i think i should just stay home…” ]. hours praying to God to help guide me. and endless back and forth battles with myself. i remember so clearly the day the opportunity rose. it was several days after one of the hardest days i have had as a stay at home mom. you see, it’s definitely not all sunshine and rainbows, but i’ll save that for another post. literally days after this emotionally draining day, i had two opportunities for work come about. i knew this had to be God, saying it’s okay. that this is what would be best for our little family. what would be best for me, as their mother and nurturer, and teacher. and with that trust, is what ultimately led me to my decision to go back. for now, it will be part time. very very part time. and only He knows what the future holds.
tomorrow, i go back to work. but today, today i snuggle those babies so, so hard. and love them with everything i have.
if you’re the praying kind, i please kindly ask for your prayers. prayers for me, and prayers for those sweet boys. prayers for our family during this transition. and for your love.